[personal profile] kaesa
Bleh. Spent the whole day thinking "why am I not asleep, I just want to be asleep."

I picked up a dozen cinnamon rolls on the way back from my haircut, though!

Also, wrote more Undertale mob AU. I'm a little shaky on Undyne's voice so far; making her a mobster changes her in that in canon she's very much about saving and helping people, and this is very much a world where unfortunately that involves a lot of illegal stuff. Humans treat monsters like shit, there's a nearby gang that appears to want all monsters dead, the cops are corrupt, and probably so is the mayor. Plus, monsters have a hard time getting honest jobs and there's money to be made in smuggling that Toriel and Asgore can make sure is distributed to those in need. Undyne would rather be a heroine than an anti-heroine but she's doing what her community needs her to do.

I can't wait to write Alphys in this, incidentally. I need to listen to more old radio dramas.

Where is this all going? Well, you gotta know the lay of the land. Usually I'm at Grillby's in between my various tasks and errands around town. I'm a very busy guy! I have to get in a lot of loitering, boondoggling, passing time, shilly-shallying, and general faffing around. But I always go to Papyrus' place for dinner. Always. Even if I'm performing at MTT later that night. I am part-owner, after all; I gotta look after the place. Also, he's my brother. We ain't got anyone but each other, not anymore. But I don't like to think about that.

So it shows how important Undyne is that I agreed to meet her at MTT for dinner a couple of weeks ago. Papyrus wasn't real happy not to be invited, but I told him Undyne knows he's got his important chef duties to attend to, and I think he even believed it. We may not agree on much, me and Undyne, but she definitely wants to keep Papyrus out of trouble same as me.

Anyway, I walk in and there's Mettaton on stage in a slinky dress, singing about love and death and how great his legs are -- his usual schtick -- and Undyne's accompanying him on the piano, looking bored out of her skull and cranky as ever. I take my hat off, I order a Bloody Mary and a burger, I clap politely when the song's done, and I sit there and look around wondering why we're here. Not why we're here philosophically; I swore off worrying about the difficult questions ages ago, they're too much effort. I mean, why we're here in this glitter-trap full of slumming humans, because presumably Undyne has some important business. She usually does.

When they're done with their set she comes over to my table. "You're early. You said you wouldn't be able to get that delivery finished until six."

I shrug. "I know a shortcut. Anyway, what's going on?"

She looks around tensely, then sits down. There's a noise like an elephant blowing its nose, and she bares her teeth at me before removing the whoopee cushion from the seat and throwing it on the table. It lies there like roadkill.

I smirk. She sits down, scowling, and continues as if nothing happened. "Rumor is the Flower Boys are making a move soon."

"Yeah? Rumor is always that they're making a move," says I. "They're probably rooted to the spot, same as ever."

She rolls her remaining eye. Sometimes Undyne does not appreciate a good joke when I tell it. This is true of many people. I try not to hold it against her. "This is serious, Sans," she says. "People are saying they're prepping to reset the entire Little Underground."

"Reset" is a euphemism. It means they're gonna wipe it clean. They're gonna clear it out. In plain language, they want to kill us.

This is nothing new. They're crooks, after all. As a legitimate businessman, I despise their methods, obviously. Fortunately, I got friends in low places to deal with all of that messy work.

"So you're gonna shoot 'em up," I say, shrugging. "No cartilage off my nasal cavity."

"It's not that simple," she says. "They have this kid."

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Kaesa

April 2017

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