[personal profile] kaesa
So I wrote over a thousand words today!

...mostly at work....

...mostly when I was supposed to be working.....

...and it's a new WIP.

Really, self? Are we really going to do this?

Apparently we are. Or I am. Whatever.

In more responsible news, the exterminator is probably coming Monday! I let the neighbors know.

So anyway, have the opening paragraphs of the Undertale Mob AU! It's based on theslowesthnery's gangster AU which I mentioned yesterday. I'm a little nervous about it because it's in first person, present tense, and also because I'm playing with Sans' voice and making it more... stereotypically mobstery than canon. But I'm having fun with it.

There's three places in this town where a monster can sit down for a good meal. Oh, sure, we've got bakeries galore, and there's a guy who drives an ice cream truck all over the Little Underground -- there's even a hot dog stand when I'm feeling up to it. And Ebott has plenty of restaurants outside of the Little Underground. But if you're a monster, and you want a place with waiters and tables and the whole nine yards, there's really only three options; the humans won't have us in their very refined establishments, after all.

The first place -- the only place you're likely to know of if you're human -- is Club MTT. It's famous -- this is where Shyren got her start, after all -- and it's booked solid for months, so good luck with reservations. But if you know a guy, you might find yourself at a nice table near the front. Don't worry about being the only human there; there's more humans than scary monsters at Club MTT. The food's hit or miss, more spectacle than substance; what people go really wild for is the entertainment and the glamour. Mettaton himself is up there on stage most nights, and whatever you think of the guy, he puts on a great show.

The second place is Grillby's. You gotta love Grillby's. Maybe you've heard of this one too, especially if you're from around here; it's where humans go when they want "the authentic Little Underground experience." It ain't glamorous, but the grub's fantastic. And hey, if you wanna know a guy who could get you into Club MTT, just look for me there. I'm the one with all the best jokes, and I've got a tab you could help me out with.

The third place is Il Spaghettore. It's a great little restaurant in the heart of the Little Underground -- cozy atmosphere, friendly waitstaff, and so on. A nice, family-friendly kinda place. Humans never seem to find their way there, but if they did I know they'd be welcomed with open arms. The chef, a real swell guy named Papyrus, always comes out to ask how dinner was when you're done with your pasta.

What I think you should tell him is that dinner was great. I strongly advise against complaining about dinner. Dinner was fantastic. Excellent, even. Make no bones about it. Best spaghetti you ever had. Let them pack up the leftovers in a doggy bag. You're gonna have a lotta leftovers.

After you skip the spaghetti, though, you should order the pie. Trust me on this. Men have died for the recipe. Hell, men have killed for it. Which was a mistake, because no stone-cold killer's ever gonna get their grubby paws on Tori's famous pie. She'd never allow it. I mention this because I think people get the wrong impression about monsters -- about the Dreemurrs in particular. What you see in the papers is sensationalized. I'm not saying it's incorrect, but I just wanna point out that at no point has any of us been convicted. There ain't a gentler soul out there than Asgore Dreemurr, and Tori -- well, she's a classy lady, is all I can say. Me? Come on, look at me, I'm, what, four feet tall and all bones. You got nothing to fear from me. So what if there's been some... incidents in our community? We monsters have to do what we can to survive, and it ain't illegal to make bad spaghetti or good pie. Or to stick together.

Anyway, if you don't like the pie, I'll eat my hat. 'Course, I'd eat my hat anyway if it made for a good punchline. With ketchup, obviously. I may be a monster, but I'm not a barbarian.

Date: 2016-01-16 07:05 am (UTC)
bridgetmkennitt: (Default)
From: [personal profile] bridgetmkennitt
Hee. I've been writing at work whenever I have a break. Sometimes it happens.



April 2017


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